Don't Be Surprised...

by the things my son can do...appearances can be deceiving.

A 3 mile hike, you expect my son to be the straggler who struggles.  Instead, halfway through - he's the one leading his peers and even overtaking some of the grown ups.  Chances are he can out hike, swim or even run most grown ups.

Don't assume (Ass-U-Me after all) what he can comprehend...he  may be struggling to grasp angles, division and grammar...but is methodically working his way through (on his own no less) Tolkien's "The Hobbit."

Don't think he isn't listening to you...so watch what you say.  He has an almost word for word memory for what people say and will bring up conversations days later, that he's heard.  This can lead to sometimes funny and very often, awkward explanations of the meaning of those conversations.

Don't second guess him, do not lower that bar, do not expect less of him and most of all...never ever think he doesn't have as much to contribute as you or I.   Don't be surprised, at what my son can do.

 

Focus, J is unfocused..losing focus...ha...

Focus, J is unfocused..losing focus...having difficulty focusing...well no shit Sherlock. Tell me something I haven't known since he was two and a half years old. Seriously, this is what you spent your parents hard earned money on at college?

Working on a long overdue post. I'm a ...

Working on a long overdue post. I'm a lousy blogger, but this is for me...so, I'll cut me some slack.

The Lazy Dayz Of Summer...

in more ways than one!  I have been such a slug about blogging...I'm no where near a prolific blogger - but lately I have been absolutely neglectful!

I wasn't sure how J would do, not going to summer school...if the lack of structure/routine would put him very much out of sorts.  See...I could have sent him.  However, after discussing the issue with his teachers, we all agreed that he was pretty much past the point where the current summer school setting would benefit him.  He's at an awkward stage, where he is passing many of his friends who receive services and yet is not quite on the same level as his neurotypical peers.  In light of this, we opted for a once a week tutoring with his sp. ed. teacher, camp, get together with friends and lots of family time.  Basically, we wanted him to have a summer like every other kid his age.

So, to sum up our summer so far:

July 1st:  The five of us headed down to Port Canaveral, FL.  There we met up with my Sister In-law, her husband and five kids to go on a 7 day Carnival Cruise with my In-laws.  We had a wonderful time!  Some of the highlights for J - Camp Carnival and all its wonderful activities.  Hearing about how well J did snorkling in Nassau for the first time.  He struggled a bit, but didn't give up and ended up having a great time.  Dinner!  J had soooo much fun ordering from the adult menu.  He would carefully make his selection from each course and order in such a serious and discerning tone.  He even tried sushi, lobster and chilled soups to name but a few things!  His favorite was this melty chocolate cake type dessert (ok, that was everyones favorite).  The waterslide!  Running to the room at night to see what the latest towel animal would be...and lastly, the breakfast buffet - the boy is all about the food!

July 27th - August 7th - Camp!  J and his older sister both did two weeks at a local YMCA camp.  Swimming, archery, canoeing, horseback riding - they do it all there.  Its just a day camp at this point, but they came home every day dirty, tired and very happy.  J even won an award in archery!  I just wish it weren't so expensive, or I would send them for another two weeks. Its worth every penny.  The best part is J is assigned an additional counselor that works with him and other students with LDs.  He used to get an actual one on one, but now he shares with other campers who are starting to move out of needing such individualized attention.  The primary aim now, is socialization - this is as important for his future as an adult as are his academics.

August 10th - present:  The rest of the summer, well...other than the Fair, its pretty wide open.  Some playdates, maybe a movie, a trip to a waterpark and lots of time outside.  Soon, we'll find out who his 5th grade teacher is (fingers crossed its the one we hope for!) and the countdown to school will begin.  J is looking forward to seeing his friends, Boy Scouts, math class and LUNCH LOL!!  I'll keep you posted...

A Good Scout Saves The Last Candy

to toss to his little sister during our town's Memorial Day parade.  My husband and the girls were toward the end of the parade route.  J hung on to a handful of candy for Little M and made sure it landed right at her feet.[gallery link="file"]

School Sucess and Summer Plans

Good news!  J will no longer be needing OT services starting next school year.  Even though he has an odd grip, the teachers are happy with his handwriting.  Overall, he has shown fantastic improvement with his fine motor skills.  He will still see his speech teacher, but twice a week instead of three times a week.  Also, modifications will remain in place in regards to test taking.  Out of class support for math and reading will also remain in place.  The latter is more in regards to his issues with the rules of grammar, than it is reading comprehension itself.  So, YAY!!!

The other good news?  No summer school!  My son started an early intervention program when he was three and has pretty much been in school since that time.  When we told him the news, he reacted a bit upset at first, "But I want to go to school!!!"  We had to explain to him, that not going to summer school was a GOOD thing.  It will be so nice for him, to be able to enjoy summer along with his siblings...and tell me a week into it, "Mooooom, I'm boooooooored!!!"

So, the plan for summer will to be to meet once a week w/ a tutor - this to keep him fresh on math mostly.  On my end, we will participate in the library's summer reading program and take some field trips to historical sites in our area.  I'm also  planning 4 books for him to read over the course of the summer, with a mini book report on each.  This will cover the language arts aspect.  As for his handwriting, I thought it would be a nice summer activity to keep a summer journal; part expository writing and part pictorial.

Other than that?  Lots of bike riding, swimming and getting good and dirty.

Just Say NO

to Jenny McCarthy and Oprah's newest endeavor.  As if McCarthy hasn't already done enough damage and spread enough misinformation regarding vaccinations and Autism.  Oprah doesn't give a rats behind if vaccinations are safe, cause Autism or the hiccups...but I can bet you every last cent in my pathetic bank account, that if vaccinations caused weight loss or made you poop money, or resurrected a flat lining Hollywood career...Oprah, Jenny and Jim would be singing their praises.


http://www.reuters.com/article/televisionNews/idUSTRE5430RD20090504

I posted earlier on Orac's excellent point by point rebuttal of Jim Carey's uninformed Huff-Po article...seeing that he and McCarthy are symbiotically joined in Woo-itude, its worth checking out.

Running...

My son and his sister have recently started running in a Y youth program.  End goal, to run a 5 k by summer!  So far so good after two meetings.  My daughter isn't quite as enthused about it as my son (she takes after me LOL), but my son informed me "I like running!!!"  Dad is very happy!

With his motor skill issues, my son is not the most coordinated or fast on the reflexes...but both my husband and I feel that it is important to exercise his mind as well as his body.  Still, I have been reluctant to sign him up for the more competitive kids sports leagues in our area (cost is also a factor...why are kids sports so expensive??? Topic for another day, different blog).

So, we have found ways to encourage him to be athletic - swimming, karate and running are three wonderful things that allow him to be a part of youth sports and play to his strengths.  These are things he is good at, as good as his peers if not better.  That sense of accomplishment and pride he gets will go a long way as he gets older.  I hope too, that it will help maintain his naturally self confident personality as he matures - esp. during the teen years, when self confidence and social acceptance aren't always so easy to come by.

There Is No Herd Immunity

against ignorance:
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-coller3-2009may03,0,4461231.story

Jim Carey...A List Celebrity

and Summa Cume Laude graduate of Google U posted this article at Huff-Po the other day.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jim-carrey/the-judgment-on-vaccines_b_189777.html

and the marvelous rebuttle over at Respectful Insolence:

http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2009/04/fire_marshall_bill_discusses_vaccines.php

Susan Boyle...I love you!

I just watched the You Tube clip of her amazing...amazing isn't the right word...I can't think of the right word...performance on Britain's Got Talent.  I was floored.  I was moved and brought to tears.

I found her story on the blog Crunchy Con and clicked on the link about her backstory:  http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2009/04/12/britain-s-got-talent-singing-sensation-susan-sang-to-escape-the-bullies-115875-21272894/

If I thought I was moved to tears before, it was nothing till I read about her childhood.  Growing up with a learning disability, she found something that she excelled at and ran with it.  Susan Boyle had a dream that she never gave up on in her 47 years.

I look forward to seeing my son's dreams come true as well.  Thank you Susan Boyle, from the bottom of my heart.  You are a true hero.

My Son Sleeping...

Fluffy cat sleeping on his back.

Happily buried under a handmade quilt and his two favorite fleecy blankets.

His blue glitter mini plug-in lava lamp night light is glowing.

Dominoes scattered across the floor.

His favorite books surround him on the bed.

He's sleeping on his tummy, one hand under his pillow and the other curled up against his chest.

Content.

Good Article From Huff Post

Thought I'd share...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jacob-dickerman/vaccine-denial-scientific_b_180026.html

What I'm Aware Of...

to kick off Autism Awareness month, I have a few thoughts:

1. We are only just beginning to discover what causes Autism.

2. My son is not damaged.

3. I'd rather laugh, than cry.

4. Autism is truly a spectrum, no two children are the same in their diagnosis.

5. I've found new levels of patience...as well as new things that tick me off LOL.

6. Its even more important to raise expectations for a Autistic child, than it is for a neuro-typical one.

7.  On the flip side of that, I have to remember to give myself a break in my own self expectations as a parent.

8.  My son is beautiful, amazing and perfect just as he is.

9.  If I knew then what I know now, I still would not hesitate to vaccinate him.

10.  That Kirby and Wakefield should have to answer for the harm they've caused.

Science Fair Project

My son's grade level recently had to complete a project for the upcoming science fair.  You would think, that given his ld, he would need more help than his sister did a year ago.  But both needed assistance in reading their data, organizing their materials and in the assembly of their final projects.

Could my son have done this all on his own?  Mmmmm, if it were to be done correctly...no.  But the same is true for my oldest.  This is the first in a series of science projects that will no doubt be coming our way in the years ahead.  Now my son has seen first hand what goes into a science project, he has some visual idea of the work involved.  Hopefully, as parents, we will be able to step back more and more from school projects.  Hopefully, along with his teachers, we will have given him enough support to be able to succeed on his own as he grows older.

But still the question lingers in my mind - for a higher functioning child on the spectrum...how much help is too much?  Where and when do you start drawing that line between parental involvement and stepping back in regards to school projects?  Will we be able to step back from helping as he grows older?  You learn from failure...but you don't learn from confusion.  As a parent, it is hard to not reach out that hand to your child.

OT No Longer...

J  is getting re-evaluated this week.  Early opinion is he may no longer recieve OT for his grip/hand strength issues.  More to come...

He did it!

Both J and his big sister earned their gold belts!  They were both so proud - M, was more proud of J for getting his gold belt, than for getting one herself.  She's been a very good, practicing with him and helping him out during classes.  He sometimes gets his right and left mixed up...so its not unusual to see her whisper out the side of her mouth "Other side, Bubby!"

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Sleepover Guest

One of my son's very best friends is sleeping over tonight.  A very sweet, but very energetic boy.  I am glad that J has friends to invite over and in turn, is invited over to other friends houses.  I will try to remember that later on, when the light sable battles begin...

Karate, Testing For The Gold Belt

Practice:  This past Saturday, two hours.  This past Monday, an hour and a half.  This Friday,  another hour and a half.  Then tomorrow,  J and his older sister M will test for their Gold belts.

I watched the kids do sit ups,  squats and push ups...practice their blocking, kicking and the very important sanchin kata.  I have no idea if J will achieve his gold belt on his first testing...I hope he will, I believe that he can.  If not, I know like so many other things he works doubly hard to master...he will earn it eventually.

Fingers crossed!

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The Little Things

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that make it all worth while...J made this note for me tonight before bed.

Using Autism To Get Out Of Chores...

Not too long ago, I went through the daily routine of reminding...ok nagging my kids to pick up their rooms.  Reluctantly, they set off to their rooms.  From inside my daughters room, came the unmistakable sounds of grumbling and empty threats of mutiny.  From my son's room, silence.  "J?" I called..."Are you picking up your room?"  "No" he replied.

Going to his room, I open the door to find  him sitting in the middle of his mess, a very unhappy look on his face.  "Why aren't you cleaning your room, like I asked?" I said to him.  "Because I have an Autistic brain Mom.  I can't!  Its too hard!" J replied.   After doing this daily chore on his own and with much success, it just now occurred to him that he may have an "out."

"Nice try" I said. "Not get your Autistic butt in gear and clean this room before you lose all tv, computer and DS privileges for a week.   You can do whatever you set your mind too...including cleaning this pigpen.  Love you, now get to work."

Olbermann - Useful Idiot

http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2009/02/keith_olbermann_played_for_a_fool.php

Ring...ring...Hello Mom?

Its me J, your son?  I'm at school!   "Yes J, I know its you hon...(smiling)."

I forgot my shoes!!  "I'll bring them over in a few minutes."

Ok Mom!  I love you!  "I love you too."

Don't forget my shoes!!  click

A turn of phrase...

and Aspergers.  My son, while very verbal, is not "smoothly" verbal.  His speech is a little off, as though English is not his first language.

He mixes up his tenses and confuses what should be plural.

But sometimes, I can't help but laugh when listening him describe a "figure of speech" to his four year old sister.

Today's was "fair and square."  As Jonah explained it, it is "another way of saying you should play nice."

Advice we should all live by.

But I'm not mad, Mamma...

This from my son, as he got in the car after karate tonight.  I had gone out before the class was dismissed to warm up the car, I pulled up to the front door and my oldest daughter and my son piled into the car.  As she buckled her seat, my eldest proudly told me she had earned another tip on her belt...then said in a whisper "but Jonah didn't."

From the back, I heard a resigned voice say "But I'm not mad Mamma.  I'll keep working hard, I'll get it soon."  Hearing the self control in his voice and his positive attitude was the best thing in my day.  Disappointments like this, often lead him to an extreme of tears and sadness.  A potentially negative  fixation such as this - focused on his "failure to get that tip"  could go on for days.  However,  I  see already, this is becoming what I like to think of as a postive fixation...something to strive for, master and achieve.

I think I'll be seeing a new tip on his belt before too long.