This is such a fitting song, for my son. "Sing Along" by The Blue Man Group with Dave Matthews on vocals:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eagbog8_MGI
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Susan Senator - "The Dignity Of Risk."
http://susansenator.com/blog/2010/11/the-dignity-of-risk/
An amazing post about a Mom, her 21 year old son with Autism and personal dignity. I especially like this quote:
" If Nat is to become as independent a man as possible, he must be allowed to do what he needs to do, even if it is a little scary, not completely predictable. "
How true. I know how this Mom is feeling, because as my son (now 11) grows older, I am beginning to navigate this uncertain road. We began this journey a few years ago, at the age of 7 by allowing him in the men's locker room independently. The same for the restrooms.
We also started letting him play alone outside, with the rules and boundaries clearly explained. I even role played certain situations (What do you do if you're ball rolls in the street? If a car pulls in the driveway? Our neighbor's dog gets loose? Etc etc).
Last year, we began allowing him to stay home alone for short periods - making sure he knew how to reach us on his sister's cell phone, what to do if someone knocked on the door and what he could/could not do in the house.
Now, he is learning to babysit his sister for short periods - when I have to run to the store or if my oldest is on the late bus from school and I'm at work.
What will come next? I'm not sure. As he grows older and becomes a teenager, I expect he will let us know. Watching him and my oldest approach their teenage years, I can't help but compare the two. In all honesty...its my neuro-typical oldest daughter that is giving me the most stress!!! :-)
An amazing post about a Mom, her 21 year old son with Autism and personal dignity. I especially like this quote:
" If Nat is to become as independent a man as possible, he must be allowed to do what he needs to do, even if it is a little scary, not completely predictable. "
How true. I know how this Mom is feeling, because as my son (now 11) grows older, I am beginning to navigate this uncertain road. We began this journey a few years ago, at the age of 7 by allowing him in the men's locker room independently. The same for the restrooms.
We also started letting him play alone outside, with the rules and boundaries clearly explained. I even role played certain situations (What do you do if you're ball rolls in the street? If a car pulls in the driveway? Our neighbor's dog gets loose? Etc etc).
Last year, we began allowing him to stay home alone for short periods - making sure he knew how to reach us on his sister's cell phone, what to do if someone knocked on the door and what he could/could not do in the house.
Now, he is learning to babysit his sister for short periods - when I have to run to the store or if my oldest is on the late bus from school and I'm at work.
What will come next? I'm not sure. As he grows older and becomes a teenager, I expect he will let us know. Watching him and my oldest approach their teenage years, I can't help but compare the two. In all honesty...its my neuro-typical oldest daughter that is giving me the most stress!!! :-)
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Happy Birthday My Beautiful Boy
11 years ago, on October 17th, in the wee hours of the morning you were born. Four hours start to finish, you were in a bit of a hurry. Barely time for the epidural, no time to find a sitter for your big sister (almost two years old then) who was there for the whole thing. Afterwards, she looked at her new baby brother, said "Awww. Can I hab a cookie now Daddy? Pwease?"
She got her cookie and we all got an amazing addition to our family. Barely 6.5 pounds, you were all torso and legs (you still are). Like your sisters, you have your Dad's round upper features and my pointy elf chin.
You were a good baby, within a month you slept through the night.
We had no issues nursing.
You hit all the milestones for an infant/toddler on time.
You had no major illnesses.
You loved your Classic Pooh, Gund Piglet and your fleecy dinosaur blanket from Plymouth, NH (you still sleep with both).
You were a happy baby. You are a happy boy.
You have Aspergers.
You are amazing.
You are funny.
You are smart.
You are loved.
We wouldn't want you any other way.
You define your Autism, it does not define you.
Happy birthday, Jonah...what an honor it is, to be your Mom and Dad.
She got her cookie and we all got an amazing addition to our family. Barely 6.5 pounds, you were all torso and legs (you still are). Like your sisters, you have your Dad's round upper features and my pointy elf chin.
You were a good baby, within a month you slept through the night.
We had no issues nursing.
You hit all the milestones for an infant/toddler on time.
You had no major illnesses.
You loved your Classic Pooh, Gund Piglet and your fleecy dinosaur blanket from Plymouth, NH (you still sleep with both).
You were a happy baby. You are a happy boy.
You have Aspergers.
You are amazing.
You are funny.
You are smart.
You are loved.
We wouldn't want you any other way.
You define your Autism, it does not define you.
Happy birthday, Jonah...what an honor it is, to be your Mom and Dad.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
No Chore Modifications
Our son may receive modifications via is IEP for school related work - but not at home. After school, he is expected to start his homework and finish it - we help if its needed and always look over his work. Instead of giving him the answers, we show him how to find them in the material he has at his disposal.
After homework, he has his "rest" time. This usually means playing with his dominoes in his room. He uses them to role play Revolutionary or Civil War battles of his own imaging. They have been a favorite "spectrum" toy of his since we bought his first set at around age 4. He used to just line them up and knock them down. Then, he started incorporating them into his imaginary play (as he grew older, his imaginary play matured - but it still is very centered around his especially intense interests).
Other times, he will compose a Calvin and Hobbes inspired comic - his original comic "odes" to Bill Waterson's creation, are becoming more witty and unique, as he becomes more confident about putting his own sense humor to paper.
He has chores now - manly ones, we like to call them. Helping Mom, by bringing the filled dirty laundry basket downstairs. Checking the dryer and bringing any clean ones upstairs. Cleaning up after the dog in the yard - he is both disgusted and delighted by this task - listening to his exclamations as he picks up poo, is hysterical (This one is HUGE!!). Then, there are the expected chores - making his bed, cleaning up his floor before bedtime and putting his own clothes away.
As he gets older, our expectations of him both at home and at school continue to increase. The world outside of school, does not have an IEP. There are no modifications for what real life throws at you. A special parking spot, will not prepare him to pay his own bills, hold down a job or live independently as an adult. So we start now, in small ways, here and there to prepare him.
It might mean having him redo a spelling test at home, that he did poorly on at school.
Re-writing that lower case "a" a dozen times, until it looks more like an "a" and less like some wonky doodle (same for lower case "d" and "b").
Practicing "give and take" conversations in the car. Especially in being conscientious of what the other person is speaking about.
Constantly re-directing him to look at person who his speaking to him (he has no issue with eye contact, the other way around).
Giving him places he can freely flap in with no one asking him to tone it down (home, mostly his room. Outdoors. The YMCA.).
Privileges for something well done, without being asked.
Consequences for something he shouldn't have done (and sticking with our decision).
In all honesty, at the end of the day, all I can hope is that we've continued to do our best by him. The biggest dream I have for my son, is for him to be happy - as it is for all my children.
After homework, he has his "rest" time. This usually means playing with his dominoes in his room. He uses them to role play Revolutionary or Civil War battles of his own imaging. They have been a favorite "spectrum" toy of his since we bought his first set at around age 4. He used to just line them up and knock them down. Then, he started incorporating them into his imaginary play (as he grew older, his imaginary play matured - but it still is very centered around his especially intense interests).
Other times, he will compose a Calvin and Hobbes inspired comic - his original comic "odes" to Bill Waterson's creation, are becoming more witty and unique, as he becomes more confident about putting his own sense humor to paper.
He has chores now - manly ones, we like to call them. Helping Mom, by bringing the filled dirty laundry basket downstairs. Checking the dryer and bringing any clean ones upstairs. Cleaning up after the dog in the yard - he is both disgusted and delighted by this task - listening to his exclamations as he picks up poo, is hysterical (This one is HUGE!!). Then, there are the expected chores - making his bed, cleaning up his floor before bedtime and putting his own clothes away.
As he gets older, our expectations of him both at home and at school continue to increase. The world outside of school, does not have an IEP. There are no modifications for what real life throws at you. A special parking spot, will not prepare him to pay his own bills, hold down a job or live independently as an adult. So we start now, in small ways, here and there to prepare him.
It might mean having him redo a spelling test at home, that he did poorly on at school.
Re-writing that lower case "a" a dozen times, until it looks more like an "a" and less like some wonky doodle (same for lower case "d" and "b").
Practicing "give and take" conversations in the car. Especially in being conscientious of what the other person is speaking about.
Constantly re-directing him to look at person who his speaking to him (he has no issue with eye contact, the other way around).
Giving him places he can freely flap in with no one asking him to tone it down (home, mostly his room. Outdoors. The YMCA.).
Privileges for something well done, without being asked.
Consequences for something he shouldn't have done (and sticking with our decision).
In all honesty, at the end of the day, all I can hope is that we've continued to do our best by him. The biggest dream I have for my son, is for him to be happy - as it is for all my children.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Middle School Week 1
The past week, in Jonah's words (more or less):
I had a great day! But I had to eat lunch alone, my friends' (from elementary school) table was already full when I got there.
Me: How is getting your locker open going? Jonah: Good! No problems at all now (had it down after the first couple days).
Me: Are you making it to your next class before the bell rings? Jonah: Yes! Well...most of the time.
Me: Have you met any new friends? Jonah: Not yet, but I will (please God...let this be true). I see my old friends. We eat lunch together.
***
This past Monday - Jonah gets out of bed and is almost immediately in tears. Very odd for him. I ask him what's wrong. The tears start flowing and he wails "I have gym today. I don't want anyone to see me in my underwear!!" Dad and I reassured him, as best we could - really, we've all been there regarding the medieval torture that is having to change in a school locker room. At the end of the day, I call him from work to see how gym went. "It went fine! No one saw my underwear. Its all good. Can I play Spore on the computer till Dad gets home? I finished my homework." "Yes, you certainly can." I replied.
I'm also keeping an eye out for the cross country/running sign up sheet. In regards to athletics - he definitely has the physical ability - but not always the focus. Since he has a natural talent for running, Dad and I both think that is the school athletics area to encourage him in - especially in the sense of involving him in a peer related activity. He's run with Dad a few times before, (the least being 3 miles and the most being 6) this past summer. Other sports (aside from his karate and swim classes), give him too much of an opportunity for him to become distracted or bored. With running - you can get lost in your imagination if you like and no one is the wiser.
I had a great day! But I had to eat lunch alone, my friends' (from elementary school) table was already full when I got there.
Me: How is getting your locker open going? Jonah: Good! No problems at all now (had it down after the first couple days).
Me: Are you making it to your next class before the bell rings? Jonah: Yes! Well...most of the time.
Me: Have you met any new friends? Jonah: Not yet, but I will (please God...let this be true). I see my old friends. We eat lunch together.
***
This past Monday - Jonah gets out of bed and is almost immediately in tears. Very odd for him. I ask him what's wrong. The tears start flowing and he wails "I have gym today. I don't want anyone to see me in my underwear!!" Dad and I reassured him, as best we could - really, we've all been there regarding the medieval torture that is having to change in a school locker room. At the end of the day, I call him from work to see how gym went. "It went fine! No one saw my underwear. Its all good. Can I play Spore on the computer till Dad gets home? I finished my homework." "Yes, you certainly can." I replied.
I'm also keeping an eye out for the cross country/running sign up sheet. In regards to athletics - he definitely has the physical ability - but not always the focus. Since he has a natural talent for running, Dad and I both think that is the school athletics area to encourage him in - especially in the sense of involving him in a peer related activity. He's run with Dad a few times before, (the least being 3 miles and the most being 6) this past summer. Other sports (aside from his karate and swim classes), give him too much of an opportunity for him to become distracted or bored. With running - you can get lost in your imagination if you like and no one is the wiser.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Almost A Middle Schooler...
and so many worries and things to look forward too!
Will he
learn to open his own locker sooner than later?
make it to class before the bell rings?
have meltdowns?
have kids be kind to him, more than they are not?
make new friends?
be able to handle the homework - even though its modified?
have fun?
enjoy cross country?
continue to thrive?
Will he
learn to open his own locker sooner than later?
make it to class before the bell rings?
have meltdowns?
have kids be kind to him, more than they are not?
make new friends?
be able to handle the homework - even though its modified?
have fun?
enjoy cross country?
continue to thrive?
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Sacket's Harbor - War of 1812 Grand Tactical
Our son loves history. I mean he LOVES history, especially Military history. At any given moment these days, you can find his nose in a book about the Revolutionary War or the Civil War. So, we thought he would love a trip up north, to see the War of 1812 Grand Tactical in Sacket's Harbor, NY.
We had a fantastic day - watching demonstrations on cooking, metalworking and ending with the battle re-enactment at
the end. After, we waked down into Sacket's Harbor and had a fantastic dinner at a local restaurant and sampled some of the locally made beer (1812 Amber). I highly recommend making the trip up to attend this two day event. Not only do the re-enactors do a fantastic job, coordinating and running this event - but its a great way to support our NYS Park
s.
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